I have pretty much always been alone. Even as a young child I was alone alot. I did not really have any "friends" no one wanted to play with me. I was strange and werid and not normal. I remember being at daycare while my parents worked and I would just sit in the corner by myself. As I got older and we went outside to play...I hated outside time because then I really was alone. At least if I was inside there were people around..even durring set activities I was lonely because no one would help me so I could do them.. I would cry myself many nights because I really felt I had no one
When I started school even in the younger grades I was always made fun of . No one wanted to sit with me at lunch or play with me at recess. (I know this is stupid stuff, sorry) When we did group activities and got to pick our groups, I was never chosen so the teeacher just put me in a group and people would get mad and be mean because they did not want me in their group. We did school performances and shows and people would stare and point as if to say haha look at the crippled girl
Middle school was the worst, but that was when I met Austin. She made things a lot eiser for me. She was my rock, if people tried to mess with me she was right there. But it was still rough...People would write stuff on the hallway walls and in the restrooms about me. I would always see "Christy is a crippled bitch" or something worse. The only punishment the people that did that got was they had to stay after school and wash it off. But it always continued...At least I had Austin to get me through it the best way I could
High school was still rough People seemed to hate me. They wanted nothing to do with me. If they saw me comming down the hall a lot of them would turn around and walk the long way to class because theey did not want to be seen with me
Austin is/was incredable. We did everything together..anything and everything. Did it all and had a blast. Got into a little to much trouble at times!!! LOL We would arange our class schedules every semester so that we would at leat have some classes together. She was just the greatest. She was there if I needed a shoulder to cry on . We had many late nights and heart to hearts.
Today, my life is diffcult because I realize that I am lonely...I have friends but they are the type that are there if you want to go party or get into a little too much trouble. But even then, they don't invite me much...Like once every couple of months. I almost feell like they only call me as a last resort when they can't find someone else, someone better to hang out with. There not there when it comes to matters of the heart. There not there to talk or a shoulder to hold me up in the week moments..I guess I need to find different friends, because I feel I deserve better then that. I give so much to people and feel like I get nothing in return. Everyone goes out and has a good time and that's awesome, I am so happy for them that they are able to do that. But what about me??? Do I not mater??? Sometimes I feel ivisiable....Like no one even sees me of cares that I am there
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I care! lol I know that sounds cheesy, but people are mean. Don't worry about what they think, because you know you're a good person. They had no reason to do those things. 
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